saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
