I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My vagina is very pro this idea
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
