oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
