...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
