Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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