thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
