:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
