Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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