I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
