guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
operation have a gay friend backfired
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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