Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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