I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
