man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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