Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize