stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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