I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Green mimosas i think yes
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
