Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
