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Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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