i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize