**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
North Korea, Best Korea!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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