Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize