we're blogging at a bar
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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