Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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