i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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