so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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