No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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