Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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