Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity

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(203): View more from Connecticut

No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.

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(503): View more from Oregon

when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning

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(479): View more from Arkansas

It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.

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(516): View more from New York

Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys

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(315): View more from New York

I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.

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(315): View more from New York

I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are

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