my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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