Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
