Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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