the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
