Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
