Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
