i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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