I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Don't make out with my wife yet
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
