toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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