i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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