Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
