We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
