Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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