I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
