fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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