She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize