She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize