I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
