I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
