did you get engaged???
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
