Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
