Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize