I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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