Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
