I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
