I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
