Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
