We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
