i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I love you.
Bad choice
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