Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
